At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
