all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
