You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
