Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
