Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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