i think i have two assholes
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
