Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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