Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize