Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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