There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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