Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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