there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
