i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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