is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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