Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
