making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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