The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
