I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
