WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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