we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we're chasing vodka with high fives
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
