Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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