Betty ford says i'm here all night
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
