winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
