his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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