Do vagina's smell?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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