I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
