Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
