Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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