your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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