Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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