Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You did what with his pubic hair?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
