so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
