i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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