Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
