I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
