please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize