She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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