you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You're like the curious george of whores
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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