I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
