He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize