I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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