be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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