I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
