i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
