Me too!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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