Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
