she was so not down for the gang bang
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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