Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
