I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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