Cold hands, warm shart.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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