He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
