Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
