4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
