bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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