So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
