small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
