dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
