She is in my trunk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
