So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
