i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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