wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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