Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
