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• (513): View more from Ohio

  How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  he had to chose between the booze and condoms

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  what did he choose?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off

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• (450): View more from Quebec

  I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I could tell my life story through kermit memes

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