My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
