I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
